Sara is all the way across the country. I want to knock on her door everyday and make sure she is ok. To make sure she's smiling and no one is making her life more difficult than it has to be. But i can't. So I sit here hoping that i'll have enough money to go get her in december.
Wishing I could do anything other than sit here. I can't seem to get myself out of bed let alone out of the house. any kind of schedule or sense of what day it is ended the second I entered the hospital. Weak, dizzy, and pissed off that this is still my life. No better, only getting worse, slowly. I don't feel bad enough to make a fuss about it anymore. I'm tired of waking up every 6 hours to take a med that makes me feel worse than what it's trying to solve. So here I sit, no better off after two weeks of ivs wondering why the hell i even bother.
Life's pretty good I suppose. Bills are paid. Apartment could be dirtier, car could be more broken, etc. But I am not enjoying any of it. If I could get myself out of bed to take my meds I might be able to deal with my life a little better. Ugh. HOW? I sleep for 18 hours straight without even worrying about it how am I supposed to force myself to wake up to my couch and another day sitting on it wondering what happened to my life.
"used to get it in your fishnets now only get it in your nightdress discarded all the naughty nights for niceness landed in a very common crisis"
What's worse than countless hours of RPG games? First person shooters when i wake and sleep! ugh i fucking hate videogames.
is there anything i dont hate right now? no not really... come on mary. I dont hate applejuice and my vaporizor and the memories of all the crazy times i used to have. I dont hate doug or my family or the music that's pumpin into my brain to keep me from exploding.
everything else thoo..
http://youtu.be/u_MuX8cjrKA
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