I'm not making it. Physically, financially, and mentally I'm swimming in a sea of hopelessness. And this is a good day!
Well. It's not as bad as I make it sound and much more complicated than I can explain. I love the work I'm doing - most of it. The insurance, the staffing, the rent, the flyering, the forms, the cleaning, building, painting, meeting and greeting, and schmoozing, is all for the end of having a place where I will belong. A place to finally feel at home.
But I still have bills racking up and health issues to deal with and my constant inability to believe all my hard work will pay off. I've been working for free for a year now trying to get this thing up and running and will probably be doing more work than I'm getting paid for for the year to come. It's a bit discouraging even though the money was never why I chose this path.
I'd like to be able to focus my time and energy on Little Lake but can't shake my day-to-day obligations. And those obligations are making it hard to not think about money in the scheme of this project. Will be survive the year? will I be able to pay my bills? Please don't let any students drop in the middle of the year!!!! We'll be dead... just dead....i mean not dead... ahahaha
Oh man I'm getting looopy time for some relaxing!
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