I have no right to say anything right now. I'm a fucking idiot and vain and untrustworthy. i'm a spoiled little brat to say the least. Everything he ever said about me was right. And still he didn't deserve to be treated this way. 

I'm done. I give up now. because i'm tired of disappointing everyone. He is great to me and i threw it all away just to feel wanted. 

joe was right.